and another thing that irritates me is...

...people who do not know the difference between an inside joke and a joke that is just not funny, but that you and at least one other person believes to be funny. for example, my good friend from highschool -we'll call her Teefcake -are tickling Teefcake's younger brother. Said younger brother is laughing hysterically and apparently enjoying himself... until he subsequently wets himself. Teefcake points to his general crotch area and squeals, "X, you wet yourself!" We laugh hysterically -by we I mean Teefcake and myself... not younger brother. From then on, before road trips we'd ask younger brother if he needed to use the restroom, tell him that he'd better not have that last glass of water before bed and etc. Each time we did, we would remember the actual incident and laugh heartily... and by we I mean...

Before I offer the example of the not an inside but rather not funny joke, lemme tell you about the book I'm reading, Honeymoon with My Brother. I don't know, I think the SF Chron reviewed it and said it was "light-hearted and fun..." or something. Have I got a letter to the editor for them, and I'm only on page 30! Basic premise of book is that though the protagonist, Franz -yes, apparently he's male, is dumped 5 days before his wedding he still decides to go on the honeymoon with his brother -hence the title. I'm assuming once they get on the honeymoon, high jinks ensue. I thought this sounded interesting -girl leaving boy at altar- who gets tired of this story? And two brothers reconnecting through travel experiences. I wanted something light okay? Anyway... before we get to the travel bit we have endure the backstory, how he met and instantly fell in love with "Absent from Altar Annie," (I just thought of that). Oh, and did I mention the back of the book's description says something about this dude being a political insider in DC? -so I thought that might be cool too. And then life played a cruel joke. Franz is republican -worked for then Senator Pete Wilson to Gov Pete Wilson and then for some hideously orange county developer -ew. So my first hint (i'm getting to it!) is when Franz is on the phone w/ an assemblyman, whom he makes wait -because, "afterall he's nearly at the bottom of the food chain, the only thing lower being a school board member..." I'm paraphrasing here, cause ya know, who cares? Anyhoo, all I can think of is that in some round about or indirect way, I just contributed funds to the republican party and I immediately think of calling my credit card company to challenge the charge -but decide that the "I didn't knoooow!" argument prolly won't work. So before Annie can finally leave him at the altar (really, five whole days before -not as dramatic) we have to understand just how perfect they are for each other... and Franz illustrates (how literary!) this by telling us their inside joke. Annie, also working for Pete Wilson's campaign, creates a bumper sticker displaying a picture of Pinocchio with the slogan, "Puppets for Pete." Franz tells how no one else in the office "got it," only himself and Annie. What's to get? I'm not a republican or anything, but isn't it in poor taste? I mean, if someone from the Democrat side thought of this... then it's a little insulting to pete and thus a little funny... but people not getting, no dude, they just don't think it's funny. And the fact that the two of you think it is funny does not illustrate your superior ability to GET stuff, nor does it automatically make the joke "inside," but rather shows that what the two of you DO have in common is a low "standard," for humor. amen.
don't read this book, don't get the two types of jokes confused. that's alls i'm sayin'.

my head was literally going to explode

i am literally fed up w/ people who use literally in the wrong context -not only wrong context, but the exact opposite meaning. putting literally before a hyperbolic statement -or when they're speaking in a figurative way really sticks in my craw... but not literally sticks in my craw, because -ew.

i am esp. privy to the abuse of the word when i am literally a captive audience, for instance, while riding the bus to work. First off, there is an unspoken rule about talking on public transportation in san francisco -and if not, there should be. maybe we need to speak the rule so that others will know? but then it's not so much unspoken... but i digress. so back to my "first off," while riding muni -shut it... or at least speak quietly to your seat partner. do not share your "walk of shame," weekend with your fellow traverlers -start a blog! Secondly, the people chained to the electronic leash -let's call it a cell phone -who feel the need to answer while riding muni -to you i say politely again -shut it. if you were anyone of real importance or if you just HAD to be somewhere yesterday then you really wouldn't be riding muni would you?

I just love starting my day by listening to you recant, "dude i got so wasted..." or listening to you argue with your credit card company... you people are a live ad for mp3 players.