Random Kingdom

The quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog. That sentence is to honor my father, (he is still alive and well by the way). It was the opening sentence for every letter I rec'd from him while I was away at school. My parents would usually need to send me something (money) and he would accompany it with musings on how he spent his days that week. One letter described how my grandparents had just vacated after a recent visit to my parents' house. He said something to affect of having a hard time "cleaning the Arkansas out of the house." Anyway, the introduction sentence uses every letter in the alphabet -whether you intend to use them all in your or not.

Anyhoo, I'm in therapy now. I can't believe it either! I think I may have started therapy for the wrong reasons -trying to not lose something... but now I feel like it's not about losing something, that maybe wasn't there in the first place, but about finding myself again... as cheesy as that sounds. Therapy is hard. I think it's hard because I feel like I already KNOW the questions they're going to ask. But I think it may be like that because you are finally ready to answer those questions. Well I am here to say, Asked Answered -Done. Or maybe not. Maybe I'll keep going for a few more shesh's (sessions -keep up!).

What's great about my guy is he doesn't give me "stuff to work on." Like, "For this week try to yield more to other drivers," or "Cut back on the celebrity trash a bit." I realized he just wanted me to like and accept myself -to just be me, maybe a more aware me, but still me. Thing is -for the past 6 months or so, I haven't really liked myself. Yeah, I'm funny and I've got great hair -but I think I was half-assing a lot of life -an angry that I wasn't enjoying things more -but I didn't know how to break the cycle. Thank God for shock therapy -to get me to go to therapy.